Tuesday update
I don't know why I haven't updated before. Maybe because I stay so occupied with things around here that I simply run out of energy.
Danny's radiation treatments are nearly finished. Tomorrow is supposed to be the last one. Then we won't have to travel into town every day anymore and might possibly feel more rested.
Today will be a busy day. First, radiation. Then, bloodwork at the hospital. Then chemo - light dose. Next chemo appointment they'll start him on the full dose. This week the radiation is only on his head; they're finished for now with his chest.
He finally saw a PCP last week. (Primary Care Physician) Not a lot different was said but he was able to get a pain scrip that can be refilled 3 more times. The PCP told us there's no reason to have a lot of pain as long as meds can help with that. Danny doesn't take as much of the pain med as he really should, though. I don't know exactly why.
He also saw the pulmonary doctor last week. That doctor heard some rattling in his lower right lung but since there's no fever, the other doctors are just going to watch this for now.
Danny decided to shave his head. He said his hair was coming out more than usual anyway, so he shaved it all off. At the same time, he's trying to grow a beard.
Danny isn't feeling good at all lately. He's more tired, having more pain, and getting shorter of breath. Every so often, he wonders if all these treatments are even "worth it". We all try to encourage him. The doctors even try to encourage him. They've pretty well all said that later on, he'll really know when it's time to stop treatments but that now isn't the time.
We went to my Mom's over the weekend. Left early Saturday morning and got back Sunday afternoon. It was nice to take a trip that didn't wind up at a doctor's office. We were able to just rest and relax. One of my nephews and his wife were also there as well as a great-niece and her baby. The great niece went home Saturday evening, though.
We were both tired by the time we got home again and slept the rest of the afternoon. I don't know how many trips like that we can make even though it's only about 85 miles up there.
We didn't even know if the van would make it or not. It's been missing and backfiring a lot lately. It needs some work, but there's no extra money for that. We do well to even pay regular bills right now. I borrowed from my Mom for our light bill this time. She and my sister have both admonished me to let them know when we need help with bills and not to let anything get turned off.
My sister's very generous and her heart's philosophy is that family should take care of family - charity begins at home. God has blessed her and her husband so they are able to help various family members when times get rough. Of course, I hate to ask. I'm sure everyone feels that way.
Sis gave us a dual control electric blanket, too. That'll help keep Danny warm when he's sleeping. He gets cold pretty easily these days.
Danny's eating has dropped off a bit, but he's still eating. We'll take lots of snacks with us today since he'll be in chemo through lunch. To me, it looks like he's lost weight and I hadn't really noticed it before. However, the scales at the various doctors' offices all seem to weigh differently so I really don't know.
As for me, I'm weary. I'm overwhelmed. Often on the verge of tears. Sometimes frustrated when I think I'm doing just what needs to be done to make Danny comfortable and it suddenly changes. I can't get everything done at home no matter how hard I try because I spend so much time taking care of Danny's needs then being worn out myself. I suppose, though, it's all to be expected.
Danny gets real down about everything, too. His health. The rapid changes in his life that have come with this devilish disease. He's frustrated that he can't do the things outside that he used to do because he gets tired and short of breath when he tries anything. He worries about bills. He talks about trying to get a part-time job, but really knows he just isn't able to work at anything now.
Some days I cry alone. Some days, Danny and I cry together.
I'm working Ebay all I can and it's paying off somewhat. I can pay a couple of the smaller bills with it and we can get gas in the van with it.
In all, God is good. He gives me sleep at night that I very much need. He gives me rest in the afternoon while Danny's resting. We are still praying for healing, and I still know that one way or the other, healing will come.
Danny's radiation treatments are nearly finished. Tomorrow is supposed to be the last one. Then we won't have to travel into town every day anymore and might possibly feel more rested.
Today will be a busy day. First, radiation. Then, bloodwork at the hospital. Then chemo - light dose. Next chemo appointment they'll start him on the full dose. This week the radiation is only on his head; they're finished for now with his chest.
He finally saw a PCP last week. (Primary Care Physician) Not a lot different was said but he was able to get a pain scrip that can be refilled 3 more times. The PCP told us there's no reason to have a lot of pain as long as meds can help with that. Danny doesn't take as much of the pain med as he really should, though. I don't know exactly why.
He also saw the pulmonary doctor last week. That doctor heard some rattling in his lower right lung but since there's no fever, the other doctors are just going to watch this for now.
Danny decided to shave his head. He said his hair was coming out more than usual anyway, so he shaved it all off. At the same time, he's trying to grow a beard.
Danny isn't feeling good at all lately. He's more tired, having more pain, and getting shorter of breath. Every so often, he wonders if all these treatments are even "worth it". We all try to encourage him. The doctors even try to encourage him. They've pretty well all said that later on, he'll really know when it's time to stop treatments but that now isn't the time.
We went to my Mom's over the weekend. Left early Saturday morning and got back Sunday afternoon. It was nice to take a trip that didn't wind up at a doctor's office. We were able to just rest and relax. One of my nephews and his wife were also there as well as a great-niece and her baby. The great niece went home Saturday evening, though.
We were both tired by the time we got home again and slept the rest of the afternoon. I don't know how many trips like that we can make even though it's only about 85 miles up there.
We didn't even know if the van would make it or not. It's been missing and backfiring a lot lately. It needs some work, but there's no extra money for that. We do well to even pay regular bills right now. I borrowed from my Mom for our light bill this time. She and my sister have both admonished me to let them know when we need help with bills and not to let anything get turned off.
My sister's very generous and her heart's philosophy is that family should take care of family - charity begins at home. God has blessed her and her husband so they are able to help various family members when times get rough. Of course, I hate to ask. I'm sure everyone feels that way.
Sis gave us a dual control electric blanket, too. That'll help keep Danny warm when he's sleeping. He gets cold pretty easily these days.
Danny's eating has dropped off a bit, but he's still eating. We'll take lots of snacks with us today since he'll be in chemo through lunch. To me, it looks like he's lost weight and I hadn't really noticed it before. However, the scales at the various doctors' offices all seem to weigh differently so I really don't know.
As for me, I'm weary. I'm overwhelmed. Often on the verge of tears. Sometimes frustrated when I think I'm doing just what needs to be done to make Danny comfortable and it suddenly changes. I can't get everything done at home no matter how hard I try because I spend so much time taking care of Danny's needs then being worn out myself. I suppose, though, it's all to be expected.
Danny gets real down about everything, too. His health. The rapid changes in his life that have come with this devilish disease. He's frustrated that he can't do the things outside that he used to do because he gets tired and short of breath when he tries anything. He worries about bills. He talks about trying to get a part-time job, but really knows he just isn't able to work at anything now.
Some days I cry alone. Some days, Danny and I cry together.
I'm working Ebay all I can and it's paying off somewhat. I can pay a couple of the smaller bills with it and we can get gas in the van with it.
In all, God is good. He gives me sleep at night that I very much need. He gives me rest in the afternoon while Danny's resting. We are still praying for healing, and I still know that one way or the other, healing will come.
Labels: Danny journal
posted by Ann crum @ 6:27 AM
1 Comments:
At 10/20/2005 7:44 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ann--As always you and Danny are in my thoughts and prayers. I think of you each day, I only wish I lived closer to you.
Love
Lauraleah
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