Sunday Night

~~Sunday, August 28, 2005~~

It's been a much quieter day around here. We both had a chance to rest and unwind a little. Danny felt pretty good all day, thank the Lord. Not much pain. But it all starts all over again tomorrow, I guess.

We finished off the clam chowder I'd made for us yesterday. I fixed grilled cheese sandwiches with it. Danny cut up the cantaloupe I'd gotten at the fruit stand, too. It's one of his very favorite fruits.

My Mom had brought Danny a stack of Reader's Digest magazines to read. He really likes those. He took the whole bag of them back to the bedroom so he can read awhile before he goes to sleep.

You know, sometimes I feel like Danny and I have both been taken prisoner - by cancer. We've been handcuffed and forced into this walk we're on now. All of our choices have been removed. We're led here and there, Danny's forced to undergo this torture and I'm forced to watch. This so much puts me in mind of Jesus' words to Peter:
John 21:18
Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.
KJV

John 21:18-19
I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."
NIV

John 21:18
The truth is, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked and go wherever you wanted to. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will direct you and take you where you don't want to go."
NLT

That's how I am feeling, and I have an idea it's how Danny feels, too. Just substitute the word "sick" for the word "old" in the verse.

We had only recently been talking about buying land, building a little cottage, and trying to live as debt-free as possible. We talked about fruit trees and grape vines. We talked about raising more goats and having some to sell. We talked about what we'd plant in the garden this fall, and next year, and what we'd leave off. Now I'm just praying there is a "next year" for us, and that if nothing else, we can at least stay here in this place for awhile longer - together.

Ps 31:1-4
In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness.

2 Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me.

3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me.

4 Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength.
KJV