My daughter's sadness

I talked to Elizabeth for a long time on the phone the other night. She's down. She told me that everyone around her is excited about Christmas. About the decorations, the tree, the music, the shopping, the lights. She's not. She's not so sure she wants to really do very much about Christmas this year, but feels she must in order to put on a good face with others. But, she said, others just don't know what's going on in her heart as Christmas approaches.

She said it won't be the same. It won't. She said the memory of last Christmas has cast a shadow over this one. It has.

We're all going to have a real hard time dealing with this, especially when Christmas Eve rolls around. I don't know how we're going to react that day.

We have already made our plans to go out and eat Chinese on Christmas day, which is something we've done for several years now.

She did just call me, though, while I was typing this post. She had been watching a cooking show and the person was making clam chowder. She asked if I could make a pot of it for us all to have in the next few days. Of course I can! I won't make it just for me, and Brandon doesn't like chowders at all, but if I know there are others to share it with I don't mind making it.

So I guess I'll get some clams and make sure I have some potatoes, and make a good batch of it in the next couple of days. Maybe Sunday would be a good day? This is a soup that Danny used to love and I'd make it not too often, but often enough.