Tuesday Again Already
The days drift by lately. It's often hard to discern one day from another. Our basic schedule doesn't really vary much. Every day - go to radiation. That's Monday through Friday. Weekends, try to rest, catch up on needful things at home, and worship our Creator.
Danny's radiation appointments are now at 9: 30 in the morning, which does help the structure of the rest of the day.
Yesterday the dr. talked to us together and Danny asked "the" question. Before he answered, the dr. told us he doesn't give patients that sort of information until they ask for it directly or if they are giving clues through their conversations with him that they are ready to know the answer. Well, the answer was that Danny might have possibly as long as a year, could be less. It depends not only on the medical/physical side but also on his will to live and to fight for his life. The dr. told us he's treated people who should have live 2 more years but only lived a few weeks because they simply gave up. Then others should only have lived a few weeks but lived a year or more because they fought every inch to live and had goals set and things to live for and look forward to. So, basically, the length of Danny's survival depends on a delicate balance of modern medicine and his own inner resources and spirit.
This is the second time we've heard this prognosis and we are both still reeling from it. However, it did open a conversation this morning between Danny and I as to what he wanted to do with what life he has left, and what his wishes are for his funeral.
Danny wants to go deer hunting and actually kill a deer at least once. He's hunted before, but never gotten a deer. He wants to do that this year during deer season. So I'm going to find out from nephews and sons if any one of them can take him hunting with them and help him bag at least one deer.
That was his one big wish right now.
He wants to be buried near his parents and brother over in MS. We'll check, but he thinks there is still a plot at that cemetary and that's where he wants to be laid.
As time goes by, we'll talk more about various things - what he wants to be dressed in, what of his possessions go to whom, etc. We need to get those details behind us so that we don't have to think about that again over the next months.
This is very hard to talk about, but we don't know any other way to do it. I hate talking about it, yet it's needful to make these plans because when the moment comes, I may not be able to think so clearly. But I won't push Danny into these conversations any more than I'll try to detour him away from them.
We understand, though, that for now death is the only avenue to see the Lord Jesus. Unless the Lord returns before then, it's the only way ANY of us get to see Him. We understand that death is a part of life. We also understand that we have this hope in Jesus that we'll see each other (and other of our beloved) again. If not for that, I think I'd lose my mind.
Today, was quite a day already. We went to an early appointment for radiation. The result of yesterday's CT scan was that Danny's esophagus is a little straighter and the tumor is about an inch smaller. They'll start radiation from other angles tomorrow. See, they can damage his spine if they keep on the direction they've been going.
After radiation we started over to another appointmet for assistance. Before we got very far, the brakes on our van made a loud noise and failed. We gingerly drove through town (no choice at that point) using the emergency brake to slow/stop us when needed. I called home and our son Brandon and his friend hadn't left for work yet, so they came to where we were at the second appointment. We gave B the money to get new brake pads for the front plus a large container of brake fluid.
When we were through with the appointment, we went to a vacant parking lot and the boys but new brake pads on the front of the van. It turned out that one of the worn pads had come loose on the inside and was scraping like crazy. This made the brakes overextend, which made the popping sound we heard. Lost some fluid, but by the time they were done, we had new brakes on the front. Much better now!
We paid a couple of bills then headed to the tire shop where we'd left two tires yesterday to have them changed over to wheels that would fit on the back of our van. So now, essentially, we do have 4 new tires on the van. That's a load of worry off us.
When we finally got home, our lights were turned off and it was HOT in here. But, we'd paid the bill this morning so they sent someone out to turn them right back on. PTL!
Now we're just resting and cooling off. I'll get more things ready to list on Ebay, and I'll figure out what we need for our next round of bill paying. It seems like they send those every week. But God is good and has supplied everything we need. I'm always so amazed at His provision and how He uses His people to supply one another. Everything is a miracle because there's no way we could do any of this on our own. We have food on the table, tires on the van, brakes on the van, bills paid, gas in the van, and are looking forward to what God has in store for us next.
Phil 4:19
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
KJV
2 Cor 8:14-15
But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality:
15 As it is written, He that had gathered much had nothing over; and he that had gathered little had no lack.
KJV
Matt 6:33-34
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
KJV
Could God's word be more clear?
Num 11:23
And the LORD said unto Moses, Is the LORD's hand waxed short? thou shalt see now whether my word shall come to pass unto thee or not.
KJV
Danny's radiation appointments are now at 9: 30 in the morning, which does help the structure of the rest of the day.
Yesterday the dr. talked to us together and Danny asked "the" question. Before he answered, the dr. told us he doesn't give patients that sort of information until they ask for it directly or if they are giving clues through their conversations with him that they are ready to know the answer. Well, the answer was that Danny might have possibly as long as a year, could be less. It depends not only on the medical/physical side but also on his will to live and to fight for his life. The dr. told us he's treated people who should have live 2 more years but only lived a few weeks because they simply gave up. Then others should only have lived a few weeks but lived a year or more because they fought every inch to live and had goals set and things to live for and look forward to. So, basically, the length of Danny's survival depends on a delicate balance of modern medicine and his own inner resources and spirit.
This is the second time we've heard this prognosis and we are both still reeling from it. However, it did open a conversation this morning between Danny and I as to what he wanted to do with what life he has left, and what his wishes are for his funeral.
Danny wants to go deer hunting and actually kill a deer at least once. He's hunted before, but never gotten a deer. He wants to do that this year during deer season. So I'm going to find out from nephews and sons if any one of them can take him hunting with them and help him bag at least one deer.
That was his one big wish right now.
He wants to be buried near his parents and brother over in MS. We'll check, but he thinks there is still a plot at that cemetary and that's where he wants to be laid.
As time goes by, we'll talk more about various things - what he wants to be dressed in, what of his possessions go to whom, etc. We need to get those details behind us so that we don't have to think about that again over the next months.
This is very hard to talk about, but we don't know any other way to do it. I hate talking about it, yet it's needful to make these plans because when the moment comes, I may not be able to think so clearly. But I won't push Danny into these conversations any more than I'll try to detour him away from them.
We understand, though, that for now death is the only avenue to see the Lord Jesus. Unless the Lord returns before then, it's the only way ANY of us get to see Him. We understand that death is a part of life. We also understand that we have this hope in Jesus that we'll see each other (and other of our beloved) again. If not for that, I think I'd lose my mind.
Today, was quite a day already. We went to an early appointment for radiation. The result of yesterday's CT scan was that Danny's esophagus is a little straighter and the tumor is about an inch smaller. They'll start radiation from other angles tomorrow. See, they can damage his spine if they keep on the direction they've been going.
After radiation we started over to another appointmet for assistance. Before we got very far, the brakes on our van made a loud noise and failed. We gingerly drove through town (no choice at that point) using the emergency brake to slow/stop us when needed. I called home and our son Brandon and his friend hadn't left for work yet, so they came to where we were at the second appointment. We gave B the money to get new brake pads for the front plus a large container of brake fluid.
When we were through with the appointment, we went to a vacant parking lot and the boys but new brake pads on the front of the van. It turned out that one of the worn pads had come loose on the inside and was scraping like crazy. This made the brakes overextend, which made the popping sound we heard. Lost some fluid, but by the time they were done, we had new brakes on the front. Much better now!
We paid a couple of bills then headed to the tire shop where we'd left two tires yesterday to have them changed over to wheels that would fit on the back of our van. So now, essentially, we do have 4 new tires on the van. That's a load of worry off us.
When we finally got home, our lights were turned off and it was HOT in here. But, we'd paid the bill this morning so they sent someone out to turn them right back on. PTL!
Now we're just resting and cooling off. I'll get more things ready to list on Ebay, and I'll figure out what we need for our next round of bill paying. It seems like they send those every week. But God is good and has supplied everything we need. I'm always so amazed at His provision and how He uses His people to supply one another. Everything is a miracle because there's no way we could do any of this on our own. We have food on the table, tires on the van, brakes on the van, bills paid, gas in the van, and are looking forward to what God has in store for us next.
Phil 4:19
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
KJV
2 Cor 8:14-15
But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality:
15 As it is written, He that had gathered much had nothing over; and he that had gathered little had no lack.
KJV
Matt 6:33-34
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
KJV
Could God's word be more clear?
Num 11:23
And the LORD said unto Moses, Is the LORD's hand waxed short? thou shalt see now whether my word shall come to pass unto thee or not.
KJV
Labels: Danny journal
posted by Ann crum @ 3:12 PM
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