Sunday afternoon

Danny really hasn't felt well the past 2 or 3 days. His appetite is way down again. I've been encouraging him to eat more often, even if it's just small amounts. But with less food also comes less energy, so he's spent just about the whole time in bed. It concerns me.

See, I know that mental attitude has a lot to do with how he feels. I am concerned that he's giving in to this disease. That he's not fighting. And I don't know how to make him fight. He doesn't feel like getting out and going anywhere. He really doesn't even feel like having visitors very much. He talks about "when I get to feeling better" but the look on his face tells a different story.

I went out and picked some turnip greens this morning. Got them all looked, washed, and cooked now. I also baked sweet potatoes. Baked too many, but what remains can go in the freezer for later. Fixed a small skillet of cornbread. Might make something else, too, but not sure yet. I don't know what Danny will actually feel like eating. There's still some clam chowder left, and a few chili rellenos.

Odd assortment of foods, huh?

He ate one scrambled egg this morning. He used to eat three. Then he started asking for two, because three was too much. Today. One. I always scramble them with a little milk and cheese to boost the nutrition. But one is just not much. And that's all he's had so far today.

I can't force him to eat. I can't force him to fight. I'm at a loss.

We see the oncologist Tuesday. I'll be telling him all this, too.

I've tried to stay busy with household matters. I've washed all the kitchen walls and cabinets. I've washed the globes on lights on the ceiling fans. I've taken down every wall item and cleaned it; put them back up. I've done laundry laundry laundry. I've organized and reorganized the eBay books I have listed. I've swept swept swept. I've vacuumed. I've dusted. I've bagged up trash. There still seems to be a ton to do. This house went with not much attention the past couple of months.

Months? Has it been months now? Yes. Two months so far. I feel like time is running out.

Please, Lord, give us hope.