Monday morning
Yesterday, Sunday, Danny's brothers and sisters came over from Mississippi. One of his niece's also came. We were very glad to see them all. Danny can no longer travel to see them over there.
They stayed long enough to have a good visit with him. They brought some supplies to help me take care of him better. I've already put some of the supplies to good use.
Danny is coughing more than before. He's also much weaker and more incoherent when he tries to talk.
I had finally got to sleep in the wee hours of the morning. When I woke up, he was on the floor halfway in the hall and halfway in the bedroom. My heart went to my throat and I screamed at Elizabeth to get up and help me get him up. We got him back in the bed and covered him so he could warm back up. After a little while, we had to get him back up, change him and the bed, and get him back in it.
I was able to get an adult dipe on him this morning, so at least if he has an accident it won't be so bad on him. I tried to get him to eat, but he wouldn't have anything to do with it. He hasn't even had his meds yet because he won't sit up. I'll try again in a bit.
I've called the oncologist's office. They'll set up Hospice. I don't know how long it will take, but the very sweet girl on the phone said the doctor would get it moving ASAP, and they would keep in phone touch with me to let me know things.
This was the hardest phone call I've ever made. I feel like I'm giving up on him, yet I'm not. I only want the best care for him that we can get while we still have him with us.
I don't have anyone here with me today. Elizabeth and Brandon are both at work and no one else is available right now. I'll just have to keep an eagle eye on him in case he tries to get up again.
They stayed long enough to have a good visit with him. They brought some supplies to help me take care of him better. I've already put some of the supplies to good use.
Danny is coughing more than before. He's also much weaker and more incoherent when he tries to talk.
I had finally got to sleep in the wee hours of the morning. When I woke up, he was on the floor halfway in the hall and halfway in the bedroom. My heart went to my throat and I screamed at Elizabeth to get up and help me get him up. We got him back in the bed and covered him so he could warm back up. After a little while, we had to get him back up, change him and the bed, and get him back in it.
I was able to get an adult dipe on him this morning, so at least if he has an accident it won't be so bad on him. I tried to get him to eat, but he wouldn't have anything to do with it. He hasn't even had his meds yet because he won't sit up. I'll try again in a bit.
I've called the oncologist's office. They'll set up Hospice. I don't know how long it will take, but the very sweet girl on the phone said the doctor would get it moving ASAP, and they would keep in phone touch with me to let me know things.
This was the hardest phone call I've ever made. I feel like I'm giving up on him, yet I'm not. I only want the best care for him that we can get while we still have him with us.
I don't have anyone here with me today. Elizabeth and Brandon are both at work and no one else is available right now. I'll just have to keep an eagle eye on him in case he tries to get up again.
Labels: Danny journal
posted by Ann crum @ 10:20 AM
5 Comments:
At 12/19/2005 11:04 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ann,you are NOT giving up on Danny. You're doing the best you can for him and asking for help to keep up the highest level of caregiving you can. There is NOTHING wrong with that. In those times of heartbreak and feeling alone..know that you have many friends praying for you,praying for Danny...reaching out with our hearts to comfort you. Hugs to you Ann,for doing everything you possibly can for your best friend and soulmate. You haven't given up on him,and neither have we. Love,Barb
At 12/19/2005 6:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ann - you are not giving up on him at all. What you are doing is making a decision to give him the best care available, which is a very loving and unselfish gift to give someone. You also cannot go on indefinitely the way you have been. You need to get your rest so that you can be there for Danny when he needs you, and you also need time to enjoy with Danny and your children. You cannot spend quality time with them and enjoy being with them if you have to focus all of your time and energy on caregiving. Don't feel guilty or defeated at all - you're making all the right decisions - decisions which you'll be thankful you made later on. Lizzy.
At 12/19/2005 8:25 PM,
Anonymous said…
I am still praying for you all, Anne. I am sending great big
hugs your way!
Love ya,
Tammy in Maine
At 12/19/2005 9:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ann, this is his other great niece Anna Wegmann,Carolyn's granddaughter. Tell Uncle Danny Ray that me and Emily love him and that we are praying for both of yall.
At 12/19/2005 11:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ann, for bed sores on the ears, skin doctors recommend very squishy-soft down or feather pillows.
Hospice is a blessing and will give you the peace of mind that Danny is looked after while you close your eyes in prayer and sleep.
From experience, I know Hospice will alert you immediately about any tiny tidbit of change in condition or alertness, so that you can get the rest you need without being afraid you won't be there when he is most alert or most cognizant. They will help you in unimaginable ways, and heed your every request.
Don't worry about embarrassment where your children are concerned. Helping you care for their father is a way of enabling them to better deal with his illness, and is a loving task, not anything to be ashamed of or to be humiliating. Letting them learn the responsibilities involved in caretaking of a loved one is something they can only learn by experience, and will enrich their lives for having been involved.
They will learn of your strength, as well as learn about strengths they were not aware they possessed.
God's light is shining brightly through you and Danny, showing the power of His love, the power of the love between you, and the strength of your family. May God bless and keep you all resting safely in His loving arms.
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