Tuesday night
Danny's not feeling well. Yes, I know he's sick but he seems to be having more pain. His morphine is starting to take effect so it's easing, but he was complaining with his left side - around his ribcage. He's coughing even more, too, and rattling some. Maybe the Hospice person tomorrow will let me know what to do to ease that. Sometimes he can cough hard enough to clear things out and breathe easier.
I've been sitting on a chair next to the bed quite a bit this evening. He has been holding my hand and not wanting to let go. And I don't either.
Brandon came home and we got Danny cleaned up and the bed changed again. I started another load of laundry. While I do seem to have plenty now for changings, I don't want it to pile up when it's dirty. While Brandon was here, Danny wanted him to be next to him on the bed. I mean, Brandon kneeling on the floor while Danny clutched Brandon's shirt. As soon as Elizabeth gets home I'm sending her in there to talk to Danny and give hugs and kisses.
As for me, I've spent the evening partly crying and partly not. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just really tired. Maybe all this is overwhelming me. I don't know. I've sat in the bedroom and prayed and cried. I've sat here and prayed and cried.
I've been sitting on a chair next to the bed quite a bit this evening. He has been holding my hand and not wanting to let go. And I don't either.
Brandon came home and we got Danny cleaned up and the bed changed again. I started another load of laundry. While I do seem to have plenty now for changings, I don't want it to pile up when it's dirty. While Brandon was here, Danny wanted him to be next to him on the bed. I mean, Brandon kneeling on the floor while Danny clutched Brandon's shirt. As soon as Elizabeth gets home I'm sending her in there to talk to Danny and give hugs and kisses.
As for me, I've spent the evening partly crying and partly not. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just really tired. Maybe all this is overwhelming me. I don't know. I've sat in the bedroom and prayed and cried. I've sat here and prayed and cried.
Labels: Danny journal
posted by Ann crum @ 9:42 PM
3 Comments:
At 12/21/2005 12:14 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ann: I'm praying for relief for you especially, but also for Danny and your children. I watched my mom take care of my step-dad when he was ill, and I know how difficult it is. She ran on "fumes" for far longer than anyone would think possible, but it did take a toll on her. I'm praying that you are able to have restful sleep even though it may not be that much in quantity right now. And what a testament to the love your family has for each other to be able to pull together in a time like this to do what needs to be done. An illness like this can easily tear a family apart, but obviously you and Danny have raised your children in a home full of God's love, because now they are demonstrating that love through their actions. I am praying for you continually, and sharing your burden of sadness. Lizzy.
At 12/21/2005 5:03 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ann, we are all hugging you and holding your hand in spirit, thoughts, and prayers.
It's OK to sit and cry, whenever and wherever you wish, as the ferocity of emotions must be over-whelming.
Please know we are holding you close in our hearts.
At 12/21/2005 9:18 AM,
Anonymous said…
Anne-
I am sending lots of love, hugs and
prayers your way. I wish there
was more that I could do.
You all are in my thoughts and
prayers daily.
God bless you all,
Tammy in Maine
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