Tuesday - very early
Yes, it's 3:30 AM and I'm up. Why? Because I actually haven't been to sleep yet. I'm not sure that I've even slept 2 hours since Sunday...maybe before then even.
Every time I start to doze off, I dream that Danny's falling in the floor. He's done it in reality several times already. In fact, I just got him out of the floor again. Brandon got him up earlier a couple of times.
Just about the time I think I can rest a little, Danny tries to get out of bed and falls. Then, when we try to get him back in bed, he's very resistent. He fights us now.
I never did get him to take his night time meds. He just refused. He refused to eat. He refused to drink. At one point, he asked Brandon, "Who are you?" I know that hurt. Another time, he cursed us. I told Brandon he doesn't know at all what he's saying. All we can do is look past it and continue trying to help him.
A Hospice person will be coming Wednesday at 11 to evaluate the situation. I'm hoping that even that same day we will be getting some help.
Today, my grown daughter will be coming to finish cleaning and clearing the bedroom. She's a huge help. The problem will be, how will I do anything? I'm running on fumes now.
Every time I start to doze off, I dream that Danny's falling in the floor. He's done it in reality several times already. In fact, I just got him out of the floor again. Brandon got him up earlier a couple of times.
Just about the time I think I can rest a little, Danny tries to get out of bed and falls. Then, when we try to get him back in bed, he's very resistent. He fights us now.
I never did get him to take his night time meds. He just refused. He refused to eat. He refused to drink. At one point, he asked Brandon, "Who are you?" I know that hurt. Another time, he cursed us. I told Brandon he doesn't know at all what he's saying. All we can do is look past it and continue trying to help him.
A Hospice person will be coming Wednesday at 11 to evaluate the situation. I'm hoping that even that same day we will be getting some help.
Today, my grown daughter will be coming to finish cleaning and clearing the bedroom. She's a huge help. The problem will be, how will I do anything? I'm running on fumes now.
Labels: Danny journal
posted by Ann crum @ 3:23 AM
6 Comments:
At 12/20/2005 3:40 AM,
cindr said…
Right now right here I pray that the Lord helps you in your trying times.
At 12/20/2005 7:27 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ann--My prayers and thoughts are with you each day. If you could get a hospital bed and keep the side rails up , that possibly could help you keep Danny from getting out of bed and falling. I know that you must be so tired and stressed I am praying that you can get some sleep, maybe when your dd comes today you can rest for a few hours---Love you Lauraleah
At 12/20/2005 9:43 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ann-
Praying that God will sustain you and provide what you need in every moment.
E.
At 12/20/2005 5:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ann, for bed sores on the ears, skin doctors recommend very squishy-soft down or feather pillows.
Hospice is a blessing and will give you the peace of mind that Danny is looked after while you close your eyes in prayer and sleep.
From experience, I know Hospice will alert you immediately about any tiny tidbit of change in condition or alertness, so that you can get the rest you need without being afraid you won't be there when he is most alert or most cognizant. They will help you in unimaginable ways, and heed your every request.
Don't worry about embarrassment where your children are concerned. Helping you care for their father is a way of enabling them to better deal with his illness, and is a loving task, not anything to be ashamed of or to be humiliating. Letting them learn the responsibilities involved in caretaking of a loved one is something they can only learn by experience, and will enrich their lives for having been involved.
They will learn of your strength, as well as learn about strengths they were not aware they possessed.
God's light is shining brightly through you and Danny, showing the power of His love, the power of the love between you, and the strength of your family. May God bless and keep you all resting safely in His loving arms.
At 12/20/2005 5:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ann and Danny,
You are always on our mind in thoughts and prayers.
At 12/20/2005 5:18 PM,
Anonymous said…
Please let us know when you get hospice, as they will give you some physical comfort and some care-taking relief.
Let your children be participants in the journey with you and your husband. They might surprize you, but may be hesitant to try to help for fear of interfering.
We all wait feverently and prayerfully to read your comments each day, as is obvious from the number of visitors to your site who have responded! Many people are caring and praying for you, as best they know how! J.R.
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